List of funny money jokes.Read and have fun.
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year." -Victor Borge
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn't be enough to go around." -Christina Stead
"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something." -Jackie Mason
"There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails." -Spencer Tracy quotes
"We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed." -Chris Rock
"I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese." -Rowan Atkinson "When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet." -Nick Arnette
"Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did." -Henny Youngman
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." -Lane Kirkland
"You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony." -John Barrymore
"If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion." -George Bernard Shaw
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." -Woody Allen
"I'm so poor I can't even pay attention." -Ron Kittle
"Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband." -H.L. Mencken
"My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income." -Errol Flynn
"The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments." -Mad Magazine
"A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain." -Robert Frost
"The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any." - Katharine Whitehorn
"It doesn't matter if you're black or white... the only color that really matters is green." - Family Guy
"Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money." - Jackie Mason
"Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort." - Helen Gurley Brown
"Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." -A.A. Latimer
"The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money." - IRS auditor
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year." -Victor Borge
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn't be enough to go around." -Christina Stead
"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something." -Jackie Mason
"There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails." -Spencer Tracy quotes
"We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed." -Chris Rock
"I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese." -Rowan Atkinson "When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet." -Nick Arnette
"Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did." -Henny Youngman
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"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." -Lane Kirkland
"You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony." -John Barrymore
"If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion." -George Bernard Shaw
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." -Woody Allen
"I'm so poor I can't even pay attention." -Ron Kittle
"Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband." -H.L. Mencken
"My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income." -Errol Flynn
"The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments." -Mad Magazine
"A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain." -Robert Frost
"The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any." - Katharine Whitehorn
"It doesn't matter if you're black or white... the only color that really matters is green." - Family Guy
"Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money." - Jackie Mason
"Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort." - Helen Gurley Brown
"Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." -A.A. Latimer
"The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money." - IRS auditor