Funny Money Jokes 2


List of funny money jokes.Read and have fun.


I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year." -Victor Borge

"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn't be enough to go around." -Christina Stead

"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something." -Jackie Mason

"There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails." -Spencer Tracy quotes

"We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed." -Chris Rock

"I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese." -Rowan Atkinson "When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet." -Nick Arnette

"Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did." -Henny Youngman
money
Money

"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." -Lane Kirkland

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony." -John Barrymore

"If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion." -George Bernard Shaw

"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." -Woody Allen

"I'm so poor I can't even pay attention." -Ron Kittle

"Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband." -H.L. Mencken

"My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income." -Errol Flynn

"The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments." -Mad Magazine

"A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain." -Robert Frost

"The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any." - Katharine Whitehorn

"It doesn't matter if you're black or white... the only color that really matters is green." - Family Guy

"Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money." - Jackie Mason

"Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort." - Helen Gurley Brown

"Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." -A.A. Latimer


"The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money." - IRS auditor


{ 3 comments... read them below or add one }

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steave adson said...

Hey friends how are you I have some funny jokes for you hope you like.Mrs. Treemont: Does your husband give you massages anymore? Mrs. Tisdale: Well he hadn’t given me one in years, but the other night we were sitting on the couch and he started rubbing my neck, then my arms, then my back, then my legs, and then my feet. Mrs. Treemont: That must have felt great! Mrs. Tisdale: It sure did, but once he found the remote he stopped. For more jokes click on this link thanks.
Funny Jokes

michael james said...

nice i like it thanks for sharing this.
funny

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